I'm Tired of Extremes!

Lately, I've been thinking.


Wait! Come back! (Those who've known me, lo' these many years, usually find a way to slip out the door every time I say that...)


Seriously. Today, I'm pondering - not the 7 zillion dollar Government Bail Out, not the election, not even the gas shortage in the southeastern US - I've been pondering the seemingly differing subjects of personal style, and avoiding extremes. Personal style. Avoiding extremes.


Amazingly, one chapter in Ecclesiastes kinda sorta addresses both concepts, a fact which I find most satisfactory. Those Biblical "Wisdom Books" absolutely send me. I find so much food for thought in Proverbs or Ecclesiastes, my brain burps, because I'm always trying to feed it too much at one time.


Which brings me to the subject of extremes. There's a pitiful thing in Christendom, and it is people who conceal their lack of substance by masquerading as "being radical". Extremes are quasi-Christian, actually. They resemble the authentic Christian life, but are entirely human in their origin. To tend towards extremes is to live in a very dangerous place, according to the wisdom of Solomon:

Don’t be excessively righteous, and don’t be overly wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Don’t be excessively wicked...why should you die before your time? (Ec. 7)

Extremes manifest in ordinary life, and are quite easy to discern, if you remain alert. They are seen in the tendency to believe that if a little bit of something is good, a whole lot of it is better. If enjoying a friendship is good, why then ten text messages and a phone call or two a day is better. If spending a couple of hours in fellowship is good, then hanging out almost every day must be better. Staying for dinner - good. Staying for ten hours - better! If being friends is good, why, let's be BFF's.

If making your acquaintence is nice, I say we up the ante, and you be my long lost sister, 'kay??

If having a Facebook page is good, then spending forty-five minutes every other day "keeping up with friends" and pasting little buttons on a bulletin board, and writing lots of messages on lots of walls, and having lots of contacts is better. If using my spiritual gifts is good, then camping out on them must be better. If doing "it" once is good, then running "it" into the ground must be even better.


If God has called me to be a writer, then I ought to be writing down everything. If He has called me to prophesy, then I'll come up with "a word" for almost every corporate gathering. One mission trip is not enough, I must go on five trips. If I am good at administrating my small sphere of influence, shouldn't I be critiquing everyone's leadership style? If exhibiting passion is inspiring, then an emotional melt-down might bring revival!

Borrrr-innnnnnng!


You heard me. I find extremes to be boring. Because they are, literally, everywhere. Mega-churches, IMAX theatres, Big Gulp drinks, Hummers, collagen lips, boob jobs, loud music and loud personalities are a dime a dozen these days. Much like an experienced grade-school teacher will softly read a storybook to a roomful of squirming, noisy children, understated elegance is now what attracts attention.


Which brings me to the subject of personal style. Whether we're talking in terms of a woman's wardrobe, her home decor, her talents, or her personality...personal style can never be bought or imitated. It is precisely when a writer strains to write Great Literature, he begins to write trash. When anything poses as Art with a capital "A", it becomes Pretension with a capital "P". When a Christian strains to lead, she becomes irritating with a capital "I".


My sister has this gorgeous head of hair. I was not so blessed. You either have great hair, or you don't. If you don't, you could buy a wig...but I'd be reduced to admiring the talents of the wigmaker, and not your hair. So if you don't have great hair, how about drawing out those deep brown eyes? Or your smile? If you don't have a voluptuous figure, for heaven's sake, don't go out and buy one. You won't look quite right. Find a way to enjoy being lithe and graceful with the figure you were given.

If you are forty-something, please, for the love, stop wearing outfits designed for a twenty-something. Trust me....it isn't "you, only better".

Style is organic to the person. It is as much a part of the person as their eye color or their voice-print. It cannot be manufactured, it can only be highlighted or honed. Problem is, many women have spent so much time copying Sister Someone Else, they don't know who they are! In the Christian life, you can only work out what God has worked in. In matters of personal style, copying someone else is the equivalent of shopping at Rooms-To-Go. Takes no imagination.

Ecclesiastes kinda sorta tells us this, when it says:

Wisdom is as good as an inheritance, and an advantage to those who see the sun. For wisdom is protection as money is protection, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of its owner.

Don't you love it? "Wisdom is as good as money."

Having personal style is as good as being rich enough to afford a designer house, designer wardrobe, and surgical enhancements. In fact, the woman with style is at a distinct advantage. Both style and riches can lend you some measure of influence, but while you can run out of money, you can't run out of good taste.

Solomon would advise us: avoid excess, and always remember....the most important things in a woman's life cannot be bought or imitated.


7 comments:

jame said...

The comment you had made about women imitating other women will often lose sight of who they are, would preach sis, Seriously.

This applies to all, Men and children alike.Taking on characteristics that are not our own. When we do this we are turning into someone else, not who we are created to be.

Even taking on charateristics of the "world." "In not of"

I am going to have to chew on this.

Chris Welch - 07000INTUNE said...

Wow and ouch!
You brain-burper.

Fantastic post, and I'm a bloke...what's it doing to the ladies.

Hannah Nichole Atchley said...

Amen, amen and (can I say it again with out overdoing it??) AMEN! This is excellent! It's so true even down to personal style. Thank you for sharing.

Unknown said...

So you're saying we should be content with who we are?! smirk...
If we're trying to copy someone else in personality or gifting or whatever, we'll always come off as "plastic."
The other side of that coin is that we as individuals are comprised of all the input that we've had. I'm a little bit of this good friend, my parents, my husband, and hopefully of my Creator God.
This brings me to consider the dual-edged thought of true individuality that everyone fights so hard for - well, some do.
You have two types of people - those who fight to be someone else and those who fight to be unique.
Neither quite has the full picture, I think.
I think that when we try to be either someone we are not, or we try to exert our individuality is when we become extreme as you're saying.
That brings me back to the third type of person - haha - the one who is content to ebb and flow as the seasons pass - realizing that we are being conformed to an Image - realizing that this conformation (is that a word) does not happen over night, but throughout our entire lives - slowly, methodically, consistently (hopefully - and only if we are submitted to the Holy Spirit).
I see a person who is at rest in who the Lord is "making" them to be, not someone who is fighting, striving, and making themselves look like an idiot! haha!
Thanks for stirring up my thoughts today.
Love you bunches, as always!

Sheila Atchley said...

Hey Jame, Chris, Maria...

*All* true growth starts as imitation. At least, that is what I teach and firmly believe. You will always start out imitating - and be careful who you choose as a role model!

But at some point - and the earlier the better - we HAVE to cross over into having an original thought. We have to begin to be comfortable with who God has made us to be.

If we were each one being truly - and completely - conformed to the image of Christ, we would all be so different from who we are right now. We wouldn't look as much like Sister Someone Else, would we?

Nor would we be content to merely compete with each other....how boring. THe image of Christ gives me more than enough to aspire to in a LIFETIME.

Enjoying the comments!!!

Sheila Atchley said...

PS.
That phrase "Fighting to be unique" yanked the biggest grin out of me!! Fighting to be "different" is alot like wearing a wig. I'd be reduced to trying to admire what you want me to see, not who you are, underneath.

It is not even possible, actually. If I find myself "fighting" to be unique - I'm really not unique at all. I'm just as self conscious as everyone else, no different than the majority.

A person "just is". There is no fighting to "be".

I'm sure we all agree...

Javamom said...

Ooooo, Sheila...I'm going to share this with my daughter's young man-friend. This is good stuff. He asked me last night about knowing what he is supposed to be or do next, and I shared with him about balance and about doing things in seasons-of-life, as the Lord leads. Sometimes it is a big thing, like a mission trip, and other times it is a quieter thing, thing, like being the best Dad you could be.

I think it helped him a little bit, but now I can share your post with him and take it one step further.

Thanks for your thought-filled and thought provoking post!